It’s contest time again on the Deneki blog!
Here’s how you can claim fame, and a pair of Abel nippers.
- Think up a limerick about fishing.
- Type it into a comment below (if you’re reading this in a newsletter click here to enter a comment on our web site).
On Saturday, September 21st we’ll pick what we judge to be the best limerick and send its author a pair of the coolest nippers known to man.
Here’s a sample, meant to show you that our standards are very low indeed.
There once was an angler from Juneau
His stories were never quite true, no
His friends couldn’t take it
His mouth, well, they taped it
Now he hums about fishing on Pluto
You can do better than that, right? Have fun with it!
There once was a trout that looked like a leopard
with a red stripe and spots from head to tailward
he chased smolt, sculpins and mice
the addition of eggs made dinner nice
and he laughed at AWest anglers when he looked skyward.
There was a young angler named Tony
His friends thought him full of baloney
He went to Alsaka West
Where he fished with the best
The pictures prove he’s no phony
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who had on the list in his bucket
With Deneki one day
A big Chinook he would play
And from the Dean he would pluck it.
There once was a man from the coast,
who loved tailing reds the most.
But then came a calm day,
He headed offshore-way,
And kings smoked his reel to toast.
A man From the West Coast,
Told his friends he fished the most.
Don’t boast, your fly reels toast…
She swam up like a moldy chum she was,
Tryin to Gobble on your lure,
On Buzz Ramsey’s fishing tour…..
There once was a dolphin named Flipper,
A friend to whale watchers and day trippers.
He lost a bad bet,
Got caught in a tuna net.
His last words were “I wish I had some Abel nippers.”
I’d like a pair of Abel nippers,
They’re better than my rusty nail clippers.
They’d look swell on my pack,
Whether red, blue, or black,
And I’d have finally won one for the Gipper.
If cutthroat or rainbows you’d wrangle,
Cast a dry fly, a nymph dangle –
For fish that haul backing
The Yak is not lacking,
The Yakima River’s your angle!
There once was a man on the East Coast
Who bragged of his big trout the most
To A West he went
With a serious bent
And caught the trout to back up his boast
There was a young angler named Tony
Who caught Koi though it was phony
went to Alaska at West
To realize its best
its like a test
that’s won by the man with the Trophy
There’s this man from Islamorada
He fished a lot more than a oughta
He once to his wife
To quell marital strife
But when she out fished him he shot her
There once was a man on the Kanektok.
It was his favorite time of the year.
Looking at the beauty he was stunned and withdrawn.
The first swing on the One rod was a fish on!
A trophy sized rainbow, it was the best day on the Last Frontier.
A fellow returned from the sea
And was greeted by tears from mate Leigh.
“I missed you,” she moaned.
“I sure wish you had phoned,
Cuz your absence seemed fishy to me.”
The prison was chock full of crooks,
Like the chef — in for cooking the books.
He’d been caught by the owner,
Who shouted this groaner:
“Fishy numbers! These aren’t chinooks!”
I can’t sleep. I don’t know what to do.
Troubling thoughts seem to come, right on cue.
But my iPod distracts me
With news that attracts me:
“Sometimes fish get insomnia too.”
There once was a man from St. Charles,
Whose line was all twisted and gnarled-
He let it drift down the river,
But his back knot’s a giver-
Now he’s lineless and cursing the stars.
-SB
There once was a Deneki guide,
Who many intruders had tied.
He’d fish on the swing
With anadromous bling.
But the fish would take one look and hide!
Trophy trout, salmon, grayling you seek,
And the time you’ve got’s ’bout a week,
Get down to Kanektok,
When next your fish friends talk,
They’ll know from your pictures, they’re meek.
There once was a website Deneki
Its attitude trending fish-geeky
Fish exotic locales
With experts and pals
But all haters of waders that leaky
There once was a website Deneki
Featured big-fish techniques very sneaky
Cast swing and strip
Hook big fish in the lip
In locations they all found unique-i
You lure us with nippers from Abel
That snip line even thicker than cable
But I already won
The last contest you run
So I’ll sit back and sip some Red Label
I save up my nickels and dimes,
For fly fishing trips and great times
I fish hard with Deneki
And then I rest easy
‘Cause they even include all the limes.
An ol’ gal who wrote funny books,
Had never caught dinner with hooks.
Imagine her surprise,
When before her did rise,
The derby winning monster Chinook.
A speycaster loved to swing,
The snakeroll cast was his thing.
He’d make cast after cast,
With his rod at half-mast.
But when he hooked up it would go SCHWING!
A fisherman from Idaho,
Caught fish wherever he’d go.
His friends were irate,
About his odd bait.
Turns out he was using Potatoes!
Ode To An Old Fishing Buddy—
A fisherman with a small woody,
Wanted to float the Deschutes, but could he?
With waves of such size,
Would he capsize?
The question isn’t could he, but should he!
I stand in the river at dawn
In the mist everyone had gone
I strip my line on the dangel
Singel spay is all i can handel
A tap a bump in the handel
Fish on i started to scramble
To the bank with hopes of no tangels
A splash tells me its place
With a grin Its on to the chase
As i return the fish to its place
It swims with style and grace
The stores will come without hast
About this river My Place.
There was a young man from Dunsmuir
Who tied up a really fine Hares Ear
He cast to and fro
A really great show
And managed to hook his own ear